How I’d Coach the Characters of Bridgerton

How I’d Coach the Characters of Bridgerton


That show took over my life for a weekend!!! I even watched Daphne and Simon fan videos on Youtube because I became high-key obsessed with the chemistry. The SPICY ASS connection between those two had me swooning! I heard so many people talking about it that I had to see what the Bridgerton kerfuffle was all about and mmm, I was NOT disappointed.

Such good writing!

The writers of Bridgerton managed to create a well-written show set in the Regency era on the lives of England’s elite. It’s a melting pot of twists and turns, character fall-outs, reconciliations, insecurities, ROMAANCEEEEE and then some.

Now, I’m a mindset coach who helps clients overcome self-doubt, so what was I also doing while watching the show? Coaching the characters – LOL! I was hard- core coaching them during the episodes to the point where my partner, Matt said “Okay, stop doing that thing you do for a living and just enjoy the show!” But I couldn’t help it, it’s just in my nature.

It’s safe to say that some of the characters on Bridgerton are in dire need of coaching. Of course, it doesn’t help that they live in a society where the woman’s main task is to be desirable enough to marry and have children while the man has significantly more freedom to do as he pleases. The cool thing about fictional characters though, especially well-written ones, is that they create a mirror for us to look into ourselves and see what we can work on. 

Annnnywho, here are my thoughts on some of the Bridgerton characters and the coaching advice I’d give them…

The Queen

The first character that really stuck out to me from a coach’s perspective was the Queen. She’s the matriarch of matriarchs, the person whose opinion matters most in this society; the official decision maker. She takes her job very seriously and does her best to ensure that events play out the way she said they would.

Her issue…

She believes that her word is law even with the things she has NO control over i.e. Daphne’s heart. She does whatever she can to uphold this reputation and look good in Lady Whistledown’s, society’s anonymous gossip columnist, articles. The Queen looks for validation and takes any attack on her judgment personally, so when it looks like she may be wrong, all hell breaks loose. 

Elle’s coaching advice 

It doesn’t serve The Queen to care what people think about her. There will always be people who like and don’t like the decisions she makes — that’s normal. She can’t control what other people do nor can she meddle in their business to make events go her way. My advice to her would be to focus on her merry, rich and royal life and figure out where her need for external validation comes from. 

Daphne Bridgerton 

She is the eldest Bridgerton daughter whose been labelled by the Queen as the “Season’s Incomparable”. She’s extremely clever, witty and very much excited of what her life will look like once she’s boo’ed up. But she doesn’t want to marry just any suitor, she has every intention of marrying for love. She’s opinionated, knows what she wants and works hard for it. 

Her issue…

She second guesses herself and refrains from opening up and being vulnerable, which is extremely common, as it makes rejection a possibility. However, there is great pain that can come from not telling someone how you feel. Daphne focuses on the reactions of the person she’s in conversation with and allows their actions to dictate her next move. She is usually one to let her thoughts be known but when there’s a chance of rejection, she shies away. 

Elle’s Coaching Advice

My suggestion to Daphne is to centre herself before heading into uncomfortable conversations (this is around the time I’d have given her my free PDF on how to handle difficult conversations). I encourage her to get curious about her apprehension and figure out why she’s afraid to take the next step. She’s to give herself permission to say what’s on her mind and meet the other person’s reaction with grace and compassion. Take the chance, Daphne, let your voice be heard.

I think her character is so compelling because she actually does speak up and tell Simon how she feels, soo she basically took my advice 😛 

Simon Basset 

The hot, hawt and steamy Duke of Hastings gets everyone’s heads turning, even the men’s. He’s the ineligible bachelor because he does not want to follow tradition and get married. He’s actively chosen to avoid a partnership.

His issue…

Simon decided that he’d be better off without an intimate, romantic connection because of his painful childhood. He let the horrible treatment he received as a child dictate how he would live the rest of his life. It was both an act done out of spite towards his father and fear that he’d be just like him. When Daphne comes along, he falls for her but can’t let himself love her the way they both deserve to be. He grew up on conditional love and can’t imagine a world where the opposite is true. 

Elle’s Coaching Advice 

My suggestion to Simon is to rewrite the narrative he learned as a kid that said he had to work to earn the love he received. I’d encourage him to write a narrative that entertains an outcome where he is given unconditional love and affection. If he knows that it’s possible, he can find areas in his life where this already exists i.e. with Daphne and Lady Danbury. He doesn’t have to be his pain or carry it around with him anymore. I would also suggest that Simon seek forgiveness towards himself and the people who wronged him when he was a kid. Once he lets go of the pain and resentment, he frees up space for more love and compassion. 

Anthony Bridgerton  

The real question is where do I start with him? He’s the eldest child of the Bridgertons and the man of the house after his late father’s passing. He lives a double life — one that has his heart’s desire and one that is merely based on the family status and the resulting obligations.  

His issue…

Anthony shows resentment towards his responsibilities as the first Bridgerton child because it prevents him from living the life he wants, with the woman he loves. On the other hand, he believes in upholding his responsibilities and supporting his family. This tension creates a lot of inner turmoil which manifests itself in bitterness and makes him unnecessarily stern with his family. It stifles the love he both wants and has to offer.

I know I’m putting it very lightly.

Elle’s Coaching advice 

Anthony needs to make up his mind. It’s important that he be intentional and decide on the life he wants to live, based on what will make him happy. Right now, he’s Tasmanian deviling everything and down right miserable. I suggest that he stay true to himself and stop being in two places at once. Gratitude lists are extremely helpful for pointing at the blessings and channeling an abundant mindset.

Mrs. Featherington 

She is an interesting creature, Mrs. Featherington. She’s in the pool of wealthy families who wants their daughters to marry off, but isn’t half as classy. The thing is, she’s always one step short of the acceptance she so desperately wants from the other families. No matter what she does, it feels…fake.

Her issue…

Mrs. Featherington tries to keep up with everybody by acting like things are fine when they’re just not. She values her reputation and rightfully so, since a tarnished one in the Regency era is bad news. But, she runs the risk of trying too hard to a point where the facade just falls apart.

Elle’s Coaching Advice

My advice to Mrs. Featherington is to be herself and stop trying to be more than she really is or act like she has more than she truly does. Likewise, she should allow her family this same standard. I suggest that she start from the beginning and think about what she wants and always, always, always stay in her own lane. She mustn’t focus on what the other Tons are doing. She’s to trust that she and her family are enough as they are. As it stands, nobody trusts her and her intentions because they can sense that it’s not coming from a place of kindness and honesty, just personal gains.

Honorable Mentions

Now for some characters who still could very much use a few coaching session, but not as badly as the others in my opinion. 


Good on her for knowing what she wants and sticking to it.

My suggestion for her is to focus less on the fact that society doesn’t approve of the path she wants and find more people who have done something similar. Her constant disdain for the life her sister wants isn’t helping anybody.


She is sweet, kind and helpful but doesn’t openly speak her mind.

I’d tell Penelope to trust her voice, let it be heard and tell her crush how she feels, even if the results aren’t the ones she wanted. 

Much easier said than done…

This the advice I’d give the characters of Bridgerton! Of course, this advice is soooo much easier to do in this millennium than I imagine it’d be back in that time period, but there are little things that they could do to make their lives much more enjoyable. 

This show is a reminder that we all want to belong and know that people care about us. When there’s the possibility of rejection, we run in the other direction, but sometimes, it’s necessary to lean into that discomfort and trust that we’ll be okay in the end. 

Let me know what you think, who do you think would need the most coaching on this show and what would you tell them?

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